Dealing with Difficult People in the workplace is no pit, they are simply a stepping stone to success in organizations. Self-righteousness and fear can often get in the way of an honest and good conversation where learning from each other's mistakes and finding creative ways to become better is so much more important than being correct. Just imagine a casual conversation with a colleague that begins like this...
(A Difficult Conversation) (pauses} "So, how was your day?" (pauses again) "Good, I learned something new, it was really interesting, I can't believe I didn't see that coming." (pauses again) "Great, thanks." (pauses slightly) "So, what's your problem?" (pauses slightly longer) "I'm just kind of lost and I don't know what to do."
(pauses again) "I guess I shouldn't ask you that, it's not a problem. What's your name? I mean, you came up with it. You're okay, right?" (pause slightly longer and with a touch of finality in her voice) "Oh, hey, it's nobody. Just a friend."
The bottom line here is that if we are going to have difficult conversations, we should be willing to talk about them frankly and openly. We should be willing to answer the questions honestly without filtering and avoiding our responses because we fear what we will hear when we speak. And the worst thing is that we do this when we could be saving other people from having to endure this conversation. So what can we do to help in these difficult conversations? We can refer to some resources that can provide help in these difficult conversations, but first let's take a look at what exactly is difficult conversation and how to avoid them if we run into them.
A difficult conversation happens when one party starts talking about something that either upsets them or makes them feel defensive about something. The tone of the conversation is usually heated, and there is a feeling of discomfort on both ends. After a while the conversation turns into a debate and sometimes heated tempers are exchanged. One person might accuse the other of ignoring them, while the other might claim they are too involved or overbearing. In short, this is when some damage is being done and a relationship might be on the rocks.
The best way to deal with difficult conversations is to take a step back and reword what was said to make it less inflammatory. This is especially true if one person keeps interrupting or talking over another person. Another tool for dealing with difficult conversations is not to take sides. Simply state your opinion as calmly as you can, without expressing any emotions or trying to get someone to do something they don't want to do. Sometimes diffusing a difficult situation can be as simple as this.
When one partner is clearly upset about a difficult conversation, they need to offer advice first. It's important to make sure the advice they're offering relates to the conversation at hand. One way of diffusing a difficult conversation is to give your partner some space by leaving them alone during the entire conversation. You might think this is easier said than done, but many couples have successfully navigated this when their partner is particularly difficult to deal with. If a person keeps interrupting or talking over someone else, however, it's best to seek out assistance from a professional who can provide a neutral point of view during the discussion.
There are plenty of uncomfortable topics that can come up during a difficult conversation. One of the most common is when one partner is frustrated because they are not getting their desired outcome. One common solution to this problem is to simply tell the other person that you understand why they are frustrated and that you hope that they will be able to find happiness somewhere. However, telling someone they just want to please you and will try their best often doesn't go over so well. The best thing to do is to find an objective party who can offer impartial guidance during the difficult conversation.
The art of conversation is something that requires patience. When one partner is clearly expressing frustration or grief, they will likely hear everything in their partner's body language. In these situations, listening carefully to the opposite sex's body language can be the best way to determine what is being said and why. If the other person is offering advice during the conversation that isn't helpful to you, it may be time to find someone else to give you advice. Even if you don't feel the advice is useful, it may still be worth your while to listen to the other's perspective.
Dealing with difficult conversations is never easy. Even for the best couples, there are times when a simple polite conversation can turn into a contentious one. It takes two people to have a difficult conversation and it takes two people to save a relationship. If you and your partner can reach a place of agreement on what is important to each of you, your relationship can become stronger. Open communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. If you and your partner can work together on communicating, even difficult topics, your relationship will become stronger.
